Online Dating Rant

Dear Girls of online dating websites:

I have seen many of your profiles. And from a guy's perspective I'd like to offer you some tips. Note: this is a rant more than anything else, but it needs to be said.

1) Only sign up once. If you really insist on getting more free time, take your old profile down and put a new one up. When you keep several profiles on the same dating website, you remind me of my friend who always forgot his password (or didn't realize you could log in repeatedly with the same username). He would sign up again and again for online stuff. Don't be like that.

2) State your city (not just "Canada"). We're not all stalkers. We're not going to hunt you down if you state your city. What this will do is help the viewer in finding people that live in the same (or nearby) city.

3) Sign up on a dating website only if you are interested in dating. Don't sign up if you just want to "meet some people in the area". You're on the wrong site.

The next few tips are to do with the pictures you post. Digital cameras are plentiful. Get some pictures taken with a decent digital camera, in the daytime. Remember: put your best foot (or face) forward.

4) Don't post a picture taken with your webcam, late at night, in a dimly lit room. It's amazing how many people think this is acceptable photography. Get up from the computer, go into the daylight and take a picture outside.

5) Don't post a picture of you with your girlfriend and leave it to the viewer to guess which one is you. The worst ones are far away shots of you and a bunch of random people all at a party. You have to have at least one picture where it is a closeup of just you.

6) Don't post a cropped picture where it's obvious that the person you cropped out was a guy, especially if he has his arm around you (it's just tacky--take another picture!).

7) Don't post a picture of just you and another guy that looks like he could be your boyfriend. Even if you put in the caption "Me with my friend", guys will read "Me with my boyfriend". Even if it's your brother, it's just better to avoid those pictures.

8) Don't post a picture with you and a child. The reader will immediately assume it's your own. So unless you're looking for someone that wants an instant family, it's better if you don't post a picture with you and a random kid.

9) Spellcheck.

Thanks for listening and happy online dating.

Sincerely,

Jon